Is Self-Care Selfish Or Should We All Be A Bit More Like Rebel?
- Jun 9, 2022
- 5 min read
Written by: Taryn Roberts, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Saying YES to yourself is the first step towards loving the woman in the mirror.
Is your reason WHY big enough to make the long-term changes you desire?
We live in a world where we want fast fixes, we want to wake up happy/achieve a weight loss goal/insert anything you like here tomorrow! Add to this influencer, celebrity, and media pressure and we all want to know how x did y, or looks so amazing and lost so much weight!.
Just take a look at Adele and Rebel Wilson! Speculation runs rife – they must have had surgery or they must have lost weight in an unhealthy way. Of course, it’s also easy for them as they must have a chef, personal trainer, or small army to run their life! Yep, we love to judge too, don’t we!
THE REALITY
They said YES to prioritizing their own wellbeing and achieving their goals and if that meant, saying no to others or turning things down in the short term, they were ok with that!
Both Rebel and Adele walked yes, you are reading that right, they walked a lot! Yes, they worked out but walking is one of the most powerful tools in our self-care arsenal! Steady-state, 10-16,000 steps a day, walked so simple, great for fat loss, and great for our mental wellbeing too!
They also got really clear on their goals, be it wanting to become a mum, to be able to run after their child, perform better at work, feel confident enough to be the person they know they were born to be, and go after their dreams; really digging deep, and getting crystal clear on their way and their goals is key to success, in weightloss, wellbeing, business, anything!
They also focused on their gut health and not in a complicated way by cutting the sugar, eating more plant-based foods, less refined carbs, and fewer chemicals!
But one thing comes before all of this
self-care. Sometimes we have to start at the beginning and ask ourselves why we feel guilty about prioritizing ourselves or why we are actively choosing not to self-sabotage anyone?
From an early age, many of us were taught that being selfless is a good thing and there are many proven benefits to both our physical and mental wellbeing. However, sometimes, if that means pushing ourselves too hard and foregoing our own needs, it can become a problem!
If we forget to stay true to who we are and what we want out of life, we can start to make sacrifices, that not only hurt us but can also start to impact those around us!
As Socrates said, “Care for oneself and know oneself”. Do you know you right now?
The reality is that having self-compassion, engaging in self-love and self-care is absolutely fundamental to creating a good life for ourselves and those around us.
Want to know why?
1. Running on empty
When did you last stop or check in with yourself? We can get so ‘busy’ taking action that we justify our being through all of the things that we have ‘got done’ or ticked off of the checklist to prove our own self-worth. In doing so, we can sacrifice personal connection with others and lose ourselves in the process. Feel easy one day but so much harder than another? It’s the same task but our attitude or energy to give is different.
2. We lose ourselves or hide behind a ‘busy’ mindset
When did you last stop or check in with yourself? We can get so ‘busy’ taking action that we justify our being through all of the things that we have ‘got done’ or ticked off of the checklist to prove our own self-worth. In doing so, we can sacrifice personal connection with others and lose ourselves in the process.
3. Fill the cup
Think of a time when you were literally glowing from the inside out – can you think of a time? Can you remember what people said about you, how they reacted to you, perhaps your energy sparked something in them, perhaps, you were part of a team that achieved more because it had you in or driving it?
Taking time out to do something that gives you energy is essential -whether it is a workout, meditation, date night, getting out in nature, or anything else you love, these can all be forms of self-care. Imagine the impact that you can have on those around you, complete strangers and even the world, if everyone gets to experience you at your happiest, most positive, best version of yourself consistently because you take time for you-is that selfish?!
4. We lose our self-compassion
Let me ask you this, how do you feel right now? Research has shown that being kind to ourselves not only improves our own well-being but also makes us better able to learn from our mistakes and grow as individuals. To really develop self-compassion, self-love is not the only element, mindfulness (learning to accept our thoughts and feelings without overwhelming or letting them become us) and a sense of being part of something bigger, as part of a wider community, both play a significant part. If you can be comfortable with yourself, this will naturally extend to others.
5. We can lose or hurt others
Ever caught yourself pushing someone away or wondering why you haven’t spoken to someone in a while? If we don’t practice self-care and find healthy ways to fulfill our needs, we tend to have less energy, moan more, struggle to see the positives in any situation, criticize ourselves and others more, and often push away or lose those we actually want to please or support.
So what now
When we lose touch with who we are, what we want out of life, or start to actively work against what we want, we negatively impact the quality of our lives and others.
Do you think Rebel Wilson thought she was being selfish when she started her ‘year of wellbeing’, maybe initially, but equally she knew what she wanted out of life and decided having that far outweighed anything else, and do you think others around her have benefited in many ways too? Of course, they did!
So I have three questions for you!
If not now, then when?
What’s your WHY and is it big enough?
What can you do today, no matter how big or small, that takes care of you?
When we make time for our needs and desires, we feel more alive, our energy is more infectious to others, and we are more present and more giving of ourselves and achieve more. In short, self-care is healthcare and the answer to a truly fulfilling life.
Now I wouldn’t call that selfish, would you?
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Taryn Roberts, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Taryn Roberts is a health and nutrition coach, empowering high performing women to achieve their dream bodies and next level life. Taryn works with clients to achieve total transformation, using her unique 3 step power method, which encompasses the power of gut healing, mindset and nutrition to ensure clients get the results they desire and deserve.
After the birth of her twins, her high flying corporate finance career became less of a passion as she realised that the part she really loved was unleashing the true potential of others versus her own progression. Juggling it all, an awkward conversation with her HR Director, that started with "what do you want more, the promotion or the pay rise" (not quite the discussion with her male counterpart) and an ever-increasing feeling of being unfilled and burnt out made her call time on her corporate career to follow her passion, get her qualifications in Nutrition and Health coaching, and help others to optimise their wellbeing so that they can truly live life and thrive.
She works with clients on a 1:1 and group basis and has also built a successful corporate well-being arm for her business, taking her closer to her vision of helping 1 million people to heal their guts, achieve their optimum well-being and truly thrive. Taryn works fully online with her clients globally.
