How To Survive A Bad Boss
- Oct 25, 2022
- 5 min read
Written by: Paul A Cicchini, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I’ve had a long and varied work life. I’ve been everything from a sports reporter to a vice president of sales to a psychologist. At one time, I was even a webmaster and a video producer. I’ve been my own boss and I’ve been a manager/supervisor to many others. I’ve tried to be a good boss because I know what it’s like on both sides of the fence.
When I was on the ‘employee’ side of the fence, I had good bosses that were bad for me (ones I would party with after landing a big contract) and tough bosses that were good for me (forcing me to really sharpen my game).
Sure, there are the incompetent bosses and there are the dumb ones ‒ you just have to shake your head and exercise patience in those situations. Those aren’t the worst bosses.
When I say, “Bad Bosses,” what I’m really talking about here are the nightmare bosses. The Leona Helmsleys (millennials, just Google that one). The King Koopas. The Darth Vaders. The Spawns from Hades. The ones that are overly aggressive, condescending, demeaning to you in public. The ones that try to make you feel incompetent or are just downright vicious to you. Makes you shudder just to think about it, right?
I’m here to tell you that if you are in a situation like that, I can sympathize and I know just how traumatic it can be. Hollywood may want to laugh it off it by making movies like, “Bad Bosses,” but there’s nothing funny about it when you are living through those circumstances. Working under a bad boss can ruin your self-esteem, your career, and even your long-term mental health.
I’ve had some doozies in my time, and I’ve survived them. So, let me share my tips for living through a bad boss situation.
If you’ve read any of my other articles, you know that I’m a big fan of conflict resolution. Not here. CR only works when two reasonable people negotiate. If there is an imbalance of power, it makes it almost impossible. So, we won’t be considering that strategy here. Despite what the Personnel Department espouses, mediation doesn’t work when you’re dealing with a sadist.
Cardinal rule: document everything. Save every email from that boss and save every response you send to them. They will try to use your words against you (I’ve seen it done by bad bosses to impress their own bosses). So, have proof that you had a valid reason for your words/actions.
Be professional. Don’t stop doing your job. Don’t give them a reason to humiliate, discipline, or fire you. I feel bad about this next statement, but also, don’t increase your work output or take on more projects just to prove the bad boss wrong. If you do, some bosses will use that as justification for pushing you so hard, or even harder. You know you do a good job so don’t give away your sweat, or it will never be appreciated. One of my mentors was the great science fiction writer, Harlan Ellison. He told me the best advice he could give me as an author was to never write anything for free, because it devalues your talent.
Garner's advice or even support from co-workers. If they are suffering under the same boss, you can decide if you are going to band together and march into Human Resources to file a hostile work environment complaint with the strength of numbers. However, if your peers have a different boss, it’s still invaluable to talk to them. Once, by talking to co-workers at my same level, I found out that their supervisors did not have the same unreasonable expectations as mine did. Besides giving me ammunition when reporting to HR, it gave me something more valuable: the peace of mind that I was doing the same good job as my peers. It’s just that I had a jerk with irrational criteria evaluating my work.
You can’t passively count on the power of prayer or karma to finally strike and save you, but don’t do anything sneaky or juvenile, either. Trying to get bad bosses fired with tricks, backstabbing, gossip, or going above their head on your own only works in bad movies. I hate to characterize something as troubling as this as a ‘game’, but it is mostly a game of active survival. Just like the reality TV game show, “Survivor,” your goal is to outplay, outwit, and outlast this blight upon your work life. Get allies, get resources, and get a strategy, which leads us to…
Find an exit strategy. You may love your job despite this aggravation, but if it gets untenable, have an eye on the door. Believe me, it’s not worth risking your sleep, health, and mental stability for a job that can be replaced. Yes, you are that valuable and the job market is pretty damned good. If you’re in a big corporation, look for transfer opportunities. If you work in a small company, talk to the competition to see if they are recruiting new talent like yours. I’m not advising you to do this because I want you to run away from your problems. I’m telling you this because Tip No 7 only works if you do tip No. 6 first.
Once you’ve done Tip No. 6 (got a nice “golden parachute” at the ready, a good escape plan thought out, or a means to support yourself if decide to leave), then and only then push back against the bad boss. In most of the Bad Boss scenarios I’m familiar with, it is a simple case of bullying. You are the victim. Don’t allow yourself to be bullied. Once you push back, they will most likely do one the classic bully moves: respect you, find someone else to bully, or get angrier. If they do the last, leave and move on with your life. I did, and I’ve never been happier.
Paul A Cicchini, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sir Paul Cicchini M.Ed., Ed.S., NCSP is a nationally certified school psychologist. He specializes in character education and is the only school psychologist on the East Coast to be certified in the new field of Social Emotional Learning (SEL)/Character Ed (Rutgers Univ. 2016). He is the owner of One Knight Publishing, LLC
Sir Paul aspires to be a well-rounded Renaissance man. His list of personal accomplishments includes cable television host (Cars Weekly Video Magazine-Philadelphia), AP credentialed sports journalist, humorist, adjunct professor, martial artist, fencer, semi-pro football player, high school football coach, collegiate football scout. His title of "Sir" comes from his rank of Knights Commander with the Templar Knights SMOTJ.
His second novel, YOUNG CYRANO, is the fictionalized account of the teenage life of Cyrano de Bergerac. It received a rating from the respected Readers’ Favorite website (click a link to read their five-star review). Paul’s most recent novel, THE ESSENTIALZ is about a team of teenage superheroes that undergo the same challenges as modern teens.
