Written by: Pia Antico, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It is that time of year again, when the Christmas/New Year movies of loving families & holiday romances are now being replaced with saccharine meet-cute rom-coms about lovers making grand Valentine's Day gestures that go horribly wrong but end up in a marriage proposal or at the very least steamy sex.
The supermarkets are filling up with roses & heart-shaped chocolates with not-so-subtle hints toward creating romantic dinners for two from the strategically positioned gourmet produce.
It's enough to make a slightly cynical single empty nester over 40 want to slip into a sugar-induced coma!
Unfortunately, many of my over 40 single soul sisters are buying into the messaging that the only worthy state is coupledom and if someone isn't picking them then it means they aren't loveable; even to themselves; particularly, that many are single through divorce.
I've been divorced twice, so I know what it is to fall down the rabbit hole of doubting my lovability & tying my worth to the validation of having a partner.
Well, I am here to give voice to the idea of being over 40 & WHOLEY SINGLE rather than single by default.
You are fully loveable without being loved by someone else!
If you don't love yourself then you won't be able to recognize & receive love from the Universe or other people.
So, this Valentine's Day how about we fill our own cups of love!
Here are 3 key tips to loving yourself everyday:
1. Ditch your regrets
We are single empty nester women over 40 there's no doubt that we've made some decisions along the way that did not work out so well. I know for myself, the hardest regrets to let go of were the times I ignored my inner voice & instead followed the 'musts & shoulds' in my head.
But here's the thing all those mistaken decisions were based on an innocent misunderstanding of where my feelings really came from.
Just like you, I believed that the events & people in my life were making me sad, mad, scared & frustrated. And naturally, if we think our OKness is from the outside then we are going to say & do anything and everything to try and fix those things we think our causing the feelings we don't want. Or, on the flip side chase after & try and hold onto those things we believe are making us happy.
After all that's what all the movies, music & books would have us believe – that people & things create our experience.
So, it is a commonly held innocent misunderstanding & we all did the best we could in that context.
But now you know that you don't have to wrestle the whole world out there to feel OK.
You are already completely OK & always were.
Be kind to yourself & embrace the imperfection that is being human. It is not about trying to achieve the perfect experience of your life but rather realizing that you are totally OK no matter the situation or your passing response to it.
2. Follow your inner bliss
Did you know that You are not your thoughts but rather You are the dynamic, bliss-filled space between thoughts.
We are all energy beings in physical bodies having human experiences & our factory default setting is the same joy of the limitless Universe/Source.
We don't need to chase people & circumstances for happiness – in truth they can't make us feel anything except that we think it.
Here is the best news! It's not happy thinking that makes us happy, we don't have to try to analyze & change what we are thinking or understand why. In fact, that only takes us further away from accessing the true source of our joy.
It is when we shift our Awareness from the chatter in our heads & just let it ebb & flow naturally that we get to glimpse into the spaces between thinking, allowing ourselves to rest there enveloped by the radiant potential of the present moment free of past thinking, future worries & labels of self.
Now that is pure bliss!
And without forcing anything, we will notice the inkling of 'good ideas' arise from this space & nudge us into aligned action following the signals of our inner joy compass.
Where is your joy compass pointing you toward?
3. Appreciate your awesomeness
Many of us would have heard about the benefits of being grateful for all the good in your life; there is no doubt this is great advice. How can you be happy if you are not thankful?
But there can be a shadow side to thankfulness if we believe we 'should' be thankful &/or if we are struggling to see the good in the first place.
What I have come to realize that appreciation is not just for the outwardly 'good stuff’ but On reflection, I have come to appreciate that those tough times were ultimately beneficial too.
The only point of looking back is to see how far you have come, and let's be real us single empty nester women over 40 have come along way through some rocky terrain to get here.
We are still standing (maybe not in high heels anymore & possibly in search of a wall to lean against)
But we are above ground with plenty of wisdom fuel in us to propel us forward into lives of freedom & fun we have yet to imagine.
Look in the mirror (put your glasses on first to see clearer)
Smile at yourself!
Give yourself 3 Cheers!
You are awesome!
Not because or despite the life you've lived thus far...
...but simply because that is your divine spark
You are a vessel for Universal love to flow through & around you
Your existence is a miracle
How would you like to show up for yourself knowing this fact?
I am offering ‘Celebrate You' sessions to Single Empty Nester Women over 40 who want to spend 60 minutes reviewing & rejoicing their lives, so they can step forward energized with appreciation and inspired by enthusiasm; & firm in the realization that they have all the answers & creativity within. May you all light your own spark and fan the flames of your desires this Valentine’s Day and every day afterwards.
Pia Antico, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
“In the middle of a storm, it is possible to find peace & strength when we tap into our innate Spirit-led wisdom and step heartfully into the present moment.” - Pia Antico
Pia Antico is the Founder of Essential Awakening Mentoring, a Crone Life Joy Reboot Mentor/Coach/Trainer, International Public Speaker & Best Selling Author.
She intuitively helps single, empty nester, businesswomen over 40 ditch their regrets, live unapologetically, age disgracefully & quit being an unwilling bystander in their lives. Without getting stuck rehashing, analyzing & reframing trauma stories.
Embodying her unique 6 step AWAKEN the joy within©️ framework helps them to free themselves from limiting beliefs & create lives of fun through trusting the guidance of their carefree Higher Self Wisdom.
Pia holds three degrees in Psychology, Counseling Training, and Certification in the 3 Principles Paradigm & she brings into coaching a wealth of insights gained from a litany of growth experiences.
At 49, she is a 'three near deaths before 30, two abusive marriages, & major head injury life rebuilder' whose mission is to help single, emptynester businesswomen over 40 to effortlessly get past their darkest moments by tapping into their innate well-being.
So that they can shine the light of their radiant, joyful wisdom & step into their dreamed of future.
Pia wants single empty nester women over 40 to know in their bones that their past doesn't predict their future & now is the time to dream big.