27% Of Stressed Students Wanted Help, But Didn't Get It

Written by Stacy Ingram, Mental Performance Coach

Stacy Ingram is a dedicated Mental Performance Coach for teen athletes and performers. She believes every teen deserves the chance to succeed at their highest level, to learn the skills and techniques needed to help them be at their best in sport, the arts and in everyday life.

In a National Library of Medicine Study of 200 High School Student athletes: “Approximately 91% experienced some level of stress due to sports. 27% of those stressed students wanted help but didn’t get it.

Do you ever wonder why stress is so prevalent in youth sports? Something that started out as fun as a young child often transforms into something totally different by the time they reach High School. 

In fact, many kids don’t even make it that far. According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports, 70% of athletes quit sports by the time they get to high school.

So why are these numbers so high? Honestly is a combination of things. Remember how stressed you were in High School and many of us at that time did not have social media, the prevalence of AP classes, and hadn’t been playing sports since we were 3. 

Sure, we had AP classes but not to the extent like today. We had all the social challenges most High Schoolers experience, but they were not broadcast in seconds to the school if we did something stupid. Can you imagine that level of pressure before you can even drive in some cases? So, what are some of the main culprits on how this can happen.

The belief loop

While coaches and parents can expect a lot out of their youth athlete, typically the hardest critic is the youth athlete themselves. They might be worried about what their teammates might think if they fail, that their coach will pull them, or that they will disappoint their parents for example. Yes, these outside influences can start the ball rolling, but It’s their own self talk that gets them. If they don’t have tools to tone that internal voice down, pretty soon they are in the “Belief Loop” which tends to escalate from there. You can choose to accept or reject your thoughts (our brain is here to keep us safe, but it’s not always right). 

So how do you do that anyway-reject a thought? Notice the thought, focus on what you want, if your thoughts don’t align, choose a different thought. Practice turning negative thoughts around to positive thoughts. The more you do this the more your brain will start to just do it automatically. Thoughts repeated over and over become a belief. While on the surface it seems simple, this is a critically important skill to learn early on. It goes something like this.

Situation-thought-accept or reject-feelings-actions-results

So, let’s not get ourselves stuck believing something about us that isn’t true. If high schoolers can learn this skill, as parents, so can we. Adults are definitely not immune to negative self-talk as we know. Shut that negative self-talk down as fast as possible.

While self-talk is only one challenge there are many more that can pop up for our teen, this is purely one example.

Anxiety, depression, burnout

Remember the comment about starting sports when they are 3? By High School most student athletes have been playing a long time and stress and burnout can begin to peak. According to Health Psychology Research “Stress is the body’s response to pressure, and can be triggered by unexpected experiences or feeling overwhelmed. A limited amount of stress can be helpful, but an excessive amount can be a catalyst for adverse psychological effects, such as depression and anxiety. Symptoms of unhealthy stress often present as increased heart rate, hyperventilation, sense of panic, sweating, and nausea.” 

While excitement is good, many of these other feelings are not. 

The dilemma of stressed students

So, what do we do about this dilemma? While stress clearly can be a negative in youth athletics, there are so many positive things about youth sports as well. 

There are so many incredible life lessons to learn:

• Learn to be disciplined, focused, and dedicated.

• Learn to fuel your body for successful results.

• Learn to be a good teammate both when you win and when you lose.

• Learn to deal with disappointment.

• Learn to keep trying.

• Learn how to be part of a team.

• Learn to work hard for something you want.

• Learn to make and accomplish goals.

• Learn to respect, not only yourself, but others, officials, judges, and coaches (especially when you don’t agree with them).

• Learn that you can get incrementally better at anything with practice.

And there is so much more.

Sports builds grit

Sports can build character, perseverance, and grit. All things we need today. So where do we begin to combat the negative effects of stress on our teen athletes and performers?

1. Be aware. Notice when your child is showing signs of anxiety or depression. 

2. Listen, and if they need more professional help connect them to the proper resources.

3. Normalize what they are going through from the standpoint of they are not alone.

4. Work on getting your child support, so that they can learn skills to combat the stress, anxiety, negative self-talk, pressure and many more things that can pop up as a student athlete or performer.

As a Mental Performance Coach, I work with athletes and performers one on one to address everything from performance anxiety, self-talk, peak performance, emotional regulation, goal setting and more. 

We start with an assessment (it’s quick and easy, I promise) to get a read on what mental skills they are already amazing at, what they could do a little better, and then the things we want to start with first. From there we build an individual performance plan so we can get started. Just like you gain muscle memory through physical practice, the same thing needs to happen on the mental side. These skills take practice until they become truly automatic. 

Learning mental performance skills doesn’t mean your athlete or performer has a problem, in fact it’s quite the opposite. The more skills they have, the better they can handle the pressure, and not only in sport(I took out an s here) but in life overall. Truly learning what grit is all about. 

So, it’s not all doom and gloom, there is so much more to athletics than just what’s on the scoreboard-let’s focus much more broadly and take advantage of all the good things youth sports can bring to our teen’s lives. 

Let’s make this a positive experience for our kids and allow them to get back to having fun again and truly enjoying their sport.

Read more from Stacy Ingram

Stacy Ingram, Mental Performance Coach

Stacy Ingram is a dedicated Mental Performance Coach specializing in empowering teen athletes and performers to overcome the invisible barriers that often hinder their performance. With a focus on the mental side of the game, her programs are designed to equip athletes and performers with the cognitive tools and resilience needed for success both in sports/the arts and in everyday life.