Why My Dad Didn't Die In Vain
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 22, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 23, 2024
Written by Viki Vallance-Clark, Alcohol Therapist
Viki Vallance-Clark is an Alcohol Hypnotherapist and Neuroplastician dedicated to helping individuals overcome alcohol dependence. As the founder of "Over The Influence," she helps clients to identify and resolve root causes, rewire drinking habits, and achieve lasting transformation through brain-rewiring and internal, integrative, change-work.
I remember finding my dad, his lifeless body half on and half off the bed. It’s a moment seared into my brain, a raw and jagged scar that never fully fades. That image fueled years of anger, anger at him for losing the fight, and anger at myself for not doing more to help. His struggle with alcohol had finally taken its toll.
In that moment, staring at the finality of what alcohol had done to him, I knew I had to make a choice. Either I would keep walking the same destructive path, or I would find a way to stop drinking, a way that didn’t rely on willpower, AA meetings, rehab, or medication. I couldn’t bear the thought of my own children finding me in the same state one day.
That moment of heartbreak changed everything for me. It wasn’t just a wake-up call. It was the catalyst for a journey that would shape the rest of my life.
Since then, I’ve found the solution, developed my own unique program, and dedicated my life to helping others stop drinking without relying on willpower, AA, rehab, or medication. In this article, I’ll share the insights and strategies that helped me, as well as many others, reclaim their lives and break free from the grip of alcohol for good.
Why is it so hard to stop drinking?
Drinking is a symptom, and as such, it isn’t the real problem. It is actually the solution to the real problem, a coping strategy. The real problem lies in the unconscious mind, rooted in deep, unaddressed, unprocessed, unreconciled, and unresolved past hurt and pain, usually but not always stemming from childhood.
Many people find themselves stuck in a cycle of drinking and quitting because they rely on willpower alone. Willpower is a limited resource. It’s like your mobile phone battery: fully charged in the morning but significantly depleted by the end of the day. When you’re stressed, tired, or facing emotional challenges, "just one drink" seems like a good idea. And as you know, one drink is never enough.
If drinking is rarely just about the alcohol and is often tied to deeper issues, the unresolved life baggage most humans carry, then understanding the root causes can help you shift your approach and break free from the cycle for good.
For more on related struggles, check out "Breaking the Habit: How to Replace Negative Behaviors."
3 powerful strategies to stop drinking without willpower
1. Understand your triggers
One of the most important steps to stopping drinking is recognizing what triggers you. These triggers might include:
Stress after work: Do you reach for a drink to relax?
Social pressure: Do you feel obligated to join in when everyone else is drinking?
Emotional pain: Are you using alcohol to numb feelings of anxiety, loneliness, unworthiness, or sadness?
Once you’ve identified your triggers, you can start developing healthier coping mechanisms. For example, instead of drinking after a stressful day, try breathwork or meditation, a bubble bath, a good book, or a walk to clear your head.
2. Rewire your brain
Habits are deeply ingrained patterns in your brain. Drinking may have become your go-to solution for unwinding or handling discomfort. To break this cycle, it’s essential to retrain your brain by creating new associations and routines.
Some ideas include:
Replace drinking with activities that genuinely relax you, such as yoga, reading, or listening to calming music. If you normally drink at home, avoid being at home during the usual time you would drink. Change your environment.
Seek out therapeutic programs designed to help you identify and resolve the root cause of your drinking while building new neural pathways and healthier habits.
Identify and remove usual triggers. For example, if you typically go to a bar with colleagues after work, choose a different location instead. Change it up.
Use visualization or self-hypnosis techniques to imagine yourself going about your days without alcohol. Over time, this can help your brain associate sobriety with positive outcomes.
For deeper insights, read "The Science Behind Habit Change."
3. Heal the root causes
Drinking is often a symptom of deeper emotional or psychological struggles. Ask yourself:
What emotions are present when you reach for a drink, and what are you trying to escape or avoid?
Are there unresolved experiences or traumas in your life that you’ve repressed, pushed away, or not resolved?
What beliefs do you hold about yourself that might fuel your drinking? For example, "I can’t help it because my parents were drinkers, so I must be predisposed to it."
Addressing these root causes through therapy, coaching, or guided self-reflection can significantly reduce your reliance on alcohol. Integrative therapeutic approaches can help you heal past wounds, develop emotional resilience, and create new neural pathways in your brain.
For more on this topic, explore "Emotional Healing: Why It’s the Key to Lasting Change."
Frequently asked questions
Why doesn’t willpower work?
Willpower is a short-term tool, not a sustainable solution. It doesn’t address the root causes of why you drink, and it doesn’t rewire deep-rooted neural pathways. This is why many people feel stuck in a cycle of stopping and starting.
How long does it take to stop drinking?
The timeline varies for everyone. However, focusing on brain rewiring and resolving unresolved past experiences, rather than relying solely on abstinence, can accelerate your progress and make the process much more successful.
Can I quit drinking without professional help?
While it is possible, having support from a therapist, coach, or supportive community can make the process smoother and more effective.
Take the first step today
Stopping drinking doesn’t have to be a constant battle. By understanding your triggers, rewiring your brain, and resolving what is at the root, you can create lasting change without exhausting yourself. Ready to explore a proven, compassionate approach? Book a consultation today and take the first step toward a life free from alcohol dependence.
Read more from Viki Vallance-Clark
Viki Vallance-Clark, Alcohol Therapist
Viki Vallance-Clark is an Alcohol Clinical Hypnotherapist and Neuroplastician, dedicated to helping individuals achieve freedom from alcohol dependence and reclaim control over their lives. She emphasises that willpower alone isn’t the answer, instead using brain-rewiring and internal integrative change-work to address the root causes behind habitual drinking. As the creator of the "Over The Influence" Stop Drinkin Program, Viki provides a compassionate, science-backed approach that creates lasting change and transforms lives, helping people build balanced, fulfilling lives free from alcohol dependence.
