Written by: Dr. Jackie Lau, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Life Coaching — Is it about people’s need to be coached, or a coach’s need to be coaching? The life coaching and counselling industry has been exploding in the last decade. Through my engagement in this field as a strategic interventionist, I am often called to contemplate and observe my relationship with the nature of coaching itself. Self-awareness is imperative for cultivating a space for virtuous co-creation with integrity and growth at a deeper level.
“The art of Self-awareness for coaches” is a 5-part series dedicated to kindred spirits who are drawn to exploring our relationship with life, with a special attention for those of you in the coaching world by any means.
The journey of Self-realization is ultimately dedicated to strengthening our vertical dimension via inner attention that others may deem arcane, especially in an environment that favors critical and skeptical methods. Confronting our barriers and illusions necessitates courage in ourselves and our surroundings, and evaluating and exploring our interactions with reality may feel unsettling, confusing, and isolated. This source of valuable suffering serves as a great teacher that reminds us to return to a state of flexibility, humility and keenness to life again and again. Recognition of the totality of life, acknowledging that seemingly unpleasant life situations are all part of a non-dualistic cosmic dance, part of who we are, is the foundation of all forms of true growth.
Is my story of becoming a coach current?
“Why/How did you become a coach?” is probably the most frequently asked question for coaches.
“I don’t know, somehow it just happened.” Never have we ever heard that answer, unlike other paths or life events that we can “end up” with and be “passive” about, like a job in hairdressing or telemarketing, or even a new role in a family such as a parent. Much like the case for an astronaut, chances we hear “One day I woke up and found myself in this space suit!” are slim.
Why is that being identified as a coach seems to require more of a backstory, often one with a certain level of grandiosity and conviction, leaving little room for serendipity or the natural randomness of “unfolding”? Even when the stochastic process is tolerated, it might have to be packaged as some form of “divine unfolding” or “higher calling”?
More common than otherwise, to that question, we then come up with the same version of a story every time, as would other coaches. We eventually become identified with the same story, one that we think would be approved and endorsed by the classic plot of what is considered inspirational and impressive by the society – one emblazoned with “transformational”; one that is well-fitted for the space suit.
Let’s stop for a moment and consider…
Do you give the same reasons every single time when somebody asks about why you married your spouse, or chose the country you’re living in, or picked the job you have, or decided on chocolate as your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Are we constantly identified with the same previously available explanation for a current situation?
“Life is routine and routine is resistance to wonder.” ― Abraham Joshua Heschel
Since when has our conscious awareness and unconscious conditioning orchestrated, concluded and agreed upon the “cause” for everything?
What if…the causes for all life phenomena are actually retrospectively decided based on what we perceive as reasonable and probable afterwards? Do they then just get shoved into our procedural memory, never questioned or updated?
What if...our subconscious knows best what to attract into our experience for our spirit to evolve, while our ego is just taking credit for it retrospectively, thinking our persona intentionally made a choice?
Change is a natural process, as when our perceptions and consciousness evolve, the meaning we assign to the same memory transforms, based on the shift in our human and spiritual needs – all a subtle ongoing micro-process… unless we are attached to the same story, or fixated on a persona we think the same story would offer, to favor a constant self-image we tend to identify with, based on the same unevolved need – then it’s time to question our familiarity…
“Is our self-identification on autopilot? Are we still sensitive to the present moment?”
Start asking yourself “Why am I becoming a coach today?”
We all have a natural tendency to memorize and rehearse certain information our mind deems constant, especially in the process of socialization and building a healthy ego; this is how our brain reserves energy from having to make sense of and respond to every perception that comes into our awareness anew.
Perhaps this is why we often attribute our current circumstances to past events or predetermined reasons ‒ “I’m xyz today because I/it was xyz yesterday” – a process decided predominantly by our intellect on reflection, no matter how swiftly.
What we consider our calling is thus ultimately retrospectively realized and defined.
How about now? What do we observe and realize about ourselves in the present moment? Have our stories changed? Or are the new stories actually consistent?
What deeper need are we fulfilling through being identified as a coach or engaging with coaching?
Stay tuned for the next 4 articles in this 5-part series…
Dr. Jackie Lau, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Jackie Lau is a neuroscientist and an experienced international life coach who is fascinated with human behaviors and the mechanisms underlying our mental and emotional states. With a deep appreciation for the integrative approach of modern psychology, neuroscience, and spirituality, Jackie is a top life coach in Australia and has co-created with people all over the world to radically transform into more self-awareness, sense of purpose, and inner freedom.
Jackie is trained as a strategic interventionist and breakthrough specialist with Robbins-Madanes Training, directed by Tony Robbins, which combines effective techniques evolved from neurolinguistic, psychological, and therapeutic inter-disciplines. As a curious researcher, Jackie completed her Ph.D. in neuroscience at the Garvan Institute of Medical Research, Sydney, Australia, studying the neural circuits governing motivation and reward. She is currently researching neurodegenerative diseases, with a focus on Alzheimer’s disease, investigating the molecular basis relating neuroplasticity to cognition.
Leveraging her diverse cultural background, Jackie is profoundly devoted to studying Eastern and Western philosophy and literature, learning transformative wisdom from influential life strategists and spiritual teachers. In the fervency of her gratitude, for over a decade, she earnestly empowers people from all walks of life to live our authentic virtuous Self and commit to becoming love. Through ingenious modalities including mindset transformation and meditation, Jackie is inspired to cultivate our connection to a deeper world, one that nourishes our spiritual heart rather than feeds our time-bound predicament of patterns, one that channels our fear of pain into lasting pull to joy, appreciation, and peaceful presence.
Jackie loves the art of music and dance. She trained as a classical violinist from a young age, later on, discovered her passion for classical guitar, and has also been a dedicated hip-hop dancer and instructor since her college years. Her creative journey has never ceased to open doors for the extraordinary in the ordinariness of life.
Jackie’s vision is to co-create with the human family as part of nature, to tune in consciously and align with our thoughts, emotions, and actions, and to live passionately and playfully with full presence.
