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Seeking Validation From The Outside

Written by: Leslie Gaudet, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

 

Have you ever felt like you aren’t enough or that you are not worthy or deserving of all the good things you have achieved in your life?


Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we feel that way all of the time. Still, there are those moments, right, where you feel like you just don’t know if you actually deserve to be excited or happy for achieving a goal because maybe you felt that it was a fluke or that it was just a one-off and would never ever happen again.

Maybe you’ve felt that way because you believe only the chosen few actually feel satisfied and confident that they achieve their goals and that they are worthy and deserving to celebrate their achievements.


I’m bringing this up because I have been noticing a lot on social media of late that women are posting how they are being judged and criticized by other women. They are experiencing a lot of unkind comments being thrown their way.


And on top of that, they are feeling like maybe they aren’t worthy or deserving of their successes in life. They stop feeling like they are enough.


Now some of them go on to say that those comments won’t and don’t stop them and that what other people say about them doesn’t make it true. And of course, they are right about that because someone else’s opinion about you doesn’t mean that that is true about you. It just means that that is their opinion, and we all have one.


But then there’s the other group of women who feel defeated and dejected because they are feeling a lack of support from other women, and they feel like giving up and start searching for the answers to their Why questions.


Why are other women coming at me? Why are they not supporting me? Why are they judging or criticizing me and what I’m doing? Are we not in the age of women empowering women?


I have often wondered about the answers to those questions myself because I have at times felt very alone and unsupported by women who were important to me and who no longer are in my life now because they chose a path that didn’t include me on it. That’s okay, though, and the reason comes down to one answer.


Self-Love.


This term means so much more to me today than it did the first time I heard it, and that’s because of where I am at in my life today and what I am doing with my life today.


When I decided that I needed change in my life, I began my own Self-Love and Self-Growth Journey, and, truth be told, I’m still on this journey because it’s not a one and done, and you’re healed and never ever have to do inner reflection.


It just means that I am so much stronger today than I was when I first began my journey almost 4 years ago, and I am proud of myself and extremely grateful for where I am at in my life today.


I’m grateful for the people in my life (men and women) who are supporting me as I grow into the best version of myself.


I seek to show up as that woman every day, and I will always seek to learn and grow and to always have that learn and grow mindset and do my inner reflective work on a daily basis.


I never start my day until I have done my mindset work. It is a welcome staple to my daily self-love practice, and it sets my day up because it allows me to get into the frame of mind that I choose to show up as in my world.


One of my earliest clients once said to me that she finally understood that Self-Love doesn’t start from the outside; it starts from within, and that was a wonderful aha moment to share with her because when she finally understood that, it freed her from looking for outside validation from others that she was enough or that she was worthy and deserving to live a life she loved.


I’m proud of her because she realized that she was enough for her and that her opinion of her was the most important one of all.


I like to tell my clients that we can either empower our inner villain who has no problem taking the lead and keeping us stuck from moving forward in our lives, or we can empower our inner hero who will uplift, support, and encourage us to lean into the uncomfortable spaces because she will be right there with us guiding us along our way and helping us to be confident in our decisions; allowing for us to have faith and trust that what we decide to do with our lives is meant for us and is our journey.


Everyone has a journey, and we’re all different, and that’s an amazing thing because I believe that each and every human born to this world is meant to add value to this world and so seeking outside validation of our worth doesn’t serve us and doesn’t serve our purpose.


What other people think is what they think. It’s their opinion, and they are entitled to their opinion. Just as we are entitled to our own.


Does it make it right if we put a negative opinion on another human being maybe because we are projecting our insecurities? No, it doesn’t.


Sometimes though, it’s much easier to face our day when we deflect our pain onto someone else because then we don’t have to deal with it ourselves.


But truly, and I mean this to my very core. Self-Love is so important and the strongest tool that you will have in your toolbelt for when those moments show up in your life where you are doubting yourself; where someone has an opinion about you; and when you are not certain and are sitting in an uncomfortable space in your life where you’re trying to figure out next steps.


Self-Love will allow you to empower your inner hero, and your inner hero doesn’t care about anyone else’s opinion except for yours.


So, when you feel like others are coming at you from all sides and it doesn’t feel good, remember this.


Everyone has an opinion, but it doesn’t mean that it has to be your truth.


We all are on our own journey, and sometimes that can be a very scary place.


You do You and let those who have something to say that isn’t always kind or uplifting or supportive keep on traveling the road they are traveling.


Keep on showing up as your true authentic self and when you need validation that you are enough and that you are worthy and deserving, take a look in the mirror because the person staring back at you has your back and knows that you are enough.


Let your Inner Hero be your guide because she is ready to walk with you if you let her.


Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!


 

Leslie Gaudet, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Leslie Gaudet is a Mindset and Emotional Awareness Coach for women. She helps her clients achieve self-awareness around their emotional triggers by shifting their mindset to make better decisions when they respond, allowing them to bring more balance, peace, and harmony into their lives.


Almost 4 decades working as a Legal Assistant and Paralegal in the corporate world left her feeling emotionally and physically drained. That’s when she decided that she had to make some changes for her to live the life she loves. Those changes involved learning to love herself (without judgment or criticism). That mindset is the key to everything because our mindset influences our thoughts, and in turn, our thoughts dictate our words and actions. Thru her journey to self-love and self-acceptance, Leslie became certified as a Life Coach and attained further certifications in Group Coaching and Emotional Intelligence.


She works closely with her clients, starting with mindset because that is the foundational piece to self-love and self-acceptance. She teaches her clients about triggers and how they affect us emotionally by helping her clients tune into, spot, and understand their own so that they can become more self-aware of their trigger moments and emotional responses.


With proven tools and techniques and with her guidance, her clients tap into and discover their true potential to living their life and loving the life they are living.


Leslie believes that you will transform your life when you Change Your Brain (the way you think).

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