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Please Don't DM me Your Pitch

Written by: Jenn Taylor, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


I’m so grateful for the complete strangers I’ve met via social media. People who have since become cherished friends, close acquaintances, business referrals, collaborative relationships, podcast guests or hosts from shows I’ve been on, people I’ve met through just messages, some messages that turned into zoom meetings, and many connections have become more than a casual sharing of information. I’ve jumped on video calls with people I had zero interest in initially (creating my own podcast app for example) because the conversation was genuine, the person took time, the messages weren’t automated and bombarding, and we got to know each other. The few minutes of time spent actually looking at my profile, getting to know me a tiny bit, having specific comments or questions, opens up the conversation easily because I have felt seen.

You found me, saw something worthy of reaching out about, and started a conversation. Sure, the end goal might be to gain clients, build a group, sell something, etc… Guess what? I have that same ambition. Let’s get on that call and see if we can collaborate or if we have something the other person wants to purchase. It’s called a warm lead and can turn into an incredible business opportunity for both of us.


"Happy Birthday, Many Many happy returns of the day! We hope that you have a wonderful Birthday!

I know you must have plans for the day to celebrate. With the infections of Covid-19 rising all over the world, please be cautious and safe. We pray for your health and eternal happiness. You can also celebrate by giving a small amount from the celebration you’ve planned! I understand it's a difficult time for everyone right now and we're all facing various financial difficulties on our own. Anything you can contribute will be greatly appreciated, however small or big. Our goal is to be able to help 28+ guides & porters and their families in Nepal Please click the link below to any help Donate AT THE LINK PROVIDED HERE

Have a very good day! Dream now visit Nepal later.

Have a very happy birthday!

Our best wishes,"

It was not my birthday, however, on my actual birthday, I received several spam messages. Using a birthday seems to be considered an opening to send a pitch.


"Hey Jen,

I went through your profile and I'm really impressed!

Have you thought of sharing your exclusive content with people around the world through a platform where they can pay a monthly subscription fee to watch your videos?

Let me tell you more about the platform I'm referring!

It's XYZ, a subscription-based platform that allows you to share your exclusive content through an own branded channel of yours and make your subscribers pay to watch your content.

CLICK to sign up!"

At the end of this message, I was asked to join a subscription-based platform that I had to pay for, that other people also had to pay for to watch what I paid to upload.


"Hi Jenn

How are you? Thank you for connecting :)

I came across your profile and I wanted to reach out and ask if you have ever considered building an online course to help grow your business and increase your revenue, or a training series as an upsell to your book?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts :)"

This was the first of several subsequent emails asking me to sign up and pay for a course.

On a side note, I didn’t correct grammar errors. Yes, I’m a grammar snob, and I make mistakes also, but please check what you send.

This issue seems nearly constant, and it’s exceptionally frustrating. I had gotten very fast at blocking, deleting, reporting spam, “auto-responding” back with a copy/paste message, etc.. but no one wants to spend time and energy in that way, so now I ignore most messages. What I don’t understand is - why would people take the time to message this way? This approach can’t possibly work, and if memes are any indication of how bad it is, it’s pretty abysmal.

In each above example, this was the first point of contact. No, “Hi, I’m NAME. I saw your profile and noticed XYZ and wanted to reach out to get to know you.” There are several reasons not to be “that person.” It’s ineffective, disingenuous, lazy, salesy, spammy, you’ll be blocked, reported and you’ll have to eat at the cafeteria table alone with a dunce cap on. You may be trying to save yourself time by automating, however, the time you’ve taken to find people in your ideal demographic is wasted because they won’t want anything to do with you. If I’m really honest, it’s like sex without foreplay, and - if you aren’t already painfully aware - no one wants that.

Connection should be the goal. Genuine connection. Taking two minutes to read about someone, find things you’re impressed by, or a common denominator that links the two of you, a question, or something about the person you find intriguing. Write a few sentences that say “I looked you up, I learned THIS, I wanted to share about myself and I see you. Would you like to connect more to find out how we can be of service to each other?”

I am all for automation where it makes sense. Saving time and effort is important when running a business. Building contacts, connections, and collaborations are not the place to automate or skimp on time. Block out time daily or weekly to specifically connect genuinely. You may have fewer “friends” on social media, but they will genuinely like you.

For more info, follow Jenn on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit her website!


Jenn Taylor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Jenn Taylor is Mom Of 18 and The Naked Podcaster, a Mindset Coach and Motivational Speaker. She is also an NLP Practitioner and has 15+ years in the foster care sector as both a parent and a trainer, has written the blog - Mom’s Running It - for 9 years, and is a published author of a self-help memoir "Hello, My Name Is... Warrior Princess". She teaches Compounding Joy, bringing fast, easy, actionable exercises to people to increase their joy and gratitude. She is also married to an amazing man in Reno, NV, is a runner, minimalist, and healthy lifestyle enthusiast.

Compounding Joy - Using the theory of compound interest to create a happier life!

If you’ve attended events or heard speakers in the past and gotten excited about making changes only to return home and not know what to DO with the information, or feel frustrated at not knowing HOW to implement the information, you’ll love this talk!

Compounding Joy brings fast, easy, actionable exercises to people to increase their joy and gratitude. Not only will you walk away with WHAT to do, but you’ll also know HOW in quick, easy steps.



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