As a Certified Transformation Coach, Wendye Savage uses her training, gifts of insight and empathy to aid women who have been challenged by Domestic Violence. Wendye, an overcomer of Domestic Violence knows first-hand what it’s like to be broken, without confidence and esteem. Wendye is also an Author, an International Women’s Empowerment Speaker, and a trained mental health advocate for the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Wendye Savage, Transformation Coach
What inspired you to create Igniting Her Worth, and what core mission drives your work?
Igniting Her Worth was birthed from my desire to guide other women through challenges I faced such as childhood trauma, neglect, and abuse. As an isolated housewife with five small stair-step children and a mentally abusive husband, without a driver’s license or support group, I sought professional help for Depression. After opening to my therapist, it was revealed that I had been the scapegoat in my childhood family dynamic. For most of my life I believed it was my fault for other people’s negative behavior or when something went wrong. I later discovered I also suffered from The Mother Wound. I have no recognition of my mother’s presence or love in early childhood or love from her throughout my life. My only memories are of her bashing my self-confidence, as if I couldn’t do anything right, being controlling and manipulative, being verbally abusive and physically abusive on occasion and at an early age she used me as a confidant during her abusive relationship with my father, attempted to turn me against him, and expected me to protect her. I felt like I never had her love or acceptance. I also revealed to my therapist that at the age of fifteen I had been sexually abused by two adult men that I trusted. It was something I swept away and believed it had been my fault up until my therapist explained to me that it wasn’t. After leaving my husband and returning to my mother, who continued to be verbally abusive, I sought professional help for suicidal thoughts, was hospitalized, diagnosed with Major Depression and placed on medication. I joined a support group where I was surrounded by others who cared. I learned more about my diagnosis, and the diagnosis of others. I was given tools on how to become confidant and have self-esteem. I later increased my faith and developed a strong relationship with God. I began to do the internal work. I asked God to heal me from the hatred and unforgiveness I felt towards my mother. It was a process.
Every time I recalled her, or something she did or said, I would pray that I would forgive her and literally go find something else to do. Eventually I was delivered. I stopped believing everything was my fault in situations by analyzing and realizing that other people are responsible for their behavior. I began to reflect on my positive traits and work on negative traits. In solitude, I came to terms with anger, guilt, and shame due to sexual abuse. I released my anger and stopped feeling ashamed of something that was clearly beyond my control. I worked on my confidence by pushing past the barriers in my mind, and telling myself I can! Rather than I can’t. I esteem myself as being God’s daughter, the beautiful woman He created and the light that I carry as being one of His servants. I went down a path forgiving my mother, husband, and those who abused me. During my depression, I went from weighing 150 pounds to 321 pounds. One day I looked in the mirror, not liking what I saw, asked myself, “How did I get here?”. I went on a weight loss journey, got an accountability partner, started eating healthier, and exercising five days a week. In essence, I’ve done the work. I emerged with a strong sense of self-awareness, love for myself and others, compassion, self-confidence and purpose. Instead of choosing a victim mentality or becoming someone who victimizes others, I have become the person I needed and here to guide other women on the path of healing.
My mission is to guide women who have been challenged by Domestic Violence into having esteem, confidence, and choose healthier partners.
Tell us about a pivotal moment that got you where you are today.
Due to all the many negative experiences in my life, I really thought I wasn’t blessed. I kept hearing the word, GO, in my spirit. Finally, I asked God, what does GO mean? He answered, Go and tell them what I’ve done for you! After hearing His voice, I published a women’s wellness guide, entitled, “What’s in Your Purse?”. What’s in Your Purse is an easy-to-read guide, where I share my deliverance from Major Depression, low self-esteem and confidence, abuse, hatred, and unforgiveness. I included wellness tips, journal prompts for my readers to soul search, scripture, prayer, and poetry. I studied and became a certified confidence and transformation coach. I also host annual women’s empowerment conferences and have spoken internationally on mental health and the power of positive thinking, and the power of forgiveness.
How does your approach help women unlock their true potential and boost self-worth?
I choose a holistic approach. I help them see themselves as the unique women that God created them to be, instead of what the aftermath of abuse has led them to believe about themselves.
What unique methods or techniques do you use to empower women in their personal growth?
I provide a non-judgmental space for my clients to express their thoughts and feelings.
I listen attentively and ask questions to determine what my client needs.
I offer learning tools and resources that promote healing.
I help my clients reframe their negative perception of themselves and learn to embrace the unique woman they are designed to be.
I aid my clients by helping them change their negative or critical self-talk to more positive and accepting.
I encourage my clients into a path of forgiveness and support them as they move forward.
I aid my clients in finding purpose.
I help my clients navigate as they learn to love themselves and choose healthier relationships.
Tell us about your greatest career achievement.
My greatest career achievement was witnessing and being a part of the growth of a client who came to me in tears and deep sorrow. She pushed through and did the work, discovered value in herself, as well as many strengths, talents, and pursued her passions and purpose in life. I was extremely proud of her, and I felt like I had done my job, as being a guide in her successful breakthrough.
How do you envision Igniting Her Worth evolving over the next few years?
I would like to reach and empower women nationally and internationally through coaching, written word, and speaking opportunities. As a coach, I intend to continue my personal path in growth, acknowledging strengths and working on negatives. Not only for myself, but to aid in the advancement of others. I want to help women create generational wealth. Equipping them with high esteem and confidence, value that can be passed on to their daughter, and their daughter’s daughter.
What advice would you give to women struggling to prioritize self-worth and confidence?
What is your inner-voice saying to you? Is your inner voice loving and compassionate or critical and condemning? Self-worth and confidence are vitally important. The way we treat ourselves, the way we allow others to treat us, and the way we treat others, largely depends on this. If we want love, honor, and respect from others, we must first have it for ourselves. Regardless of what your father, mother, or someone who didn’t value themselves, said or did to you, you are responsible for what you think about yourself. You are also responsible for setting boundaries to teach others where to draw the line.
As women, we have the tendency to put the needs of others first and put our needs on the backburner We are just as important as the people we care for and the responsibilities we assume. It is vital to our well-being that we carve out time for ourselves to do wellness checks, to pay attention to our needs, listen to our own voice, listen to the small inner voice within us, be honest with ourselves, heal where it’s needed, or reach out and ask for help.
If you feel as though your confidence or esteem could use some improvement, or if you desire to feel better about yourself and aren’t sure how to, feel free to connect with me!
What’s in Your Purse? Is a wellness guide, that may be purchased on Amazon and should be included in every woman’s library!
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