Written by: Shawn Singleton II, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Many parents desire their children to grow up to be great leaders, but too often, we’re easily tempted to view their true potential through our own lens instead of seeking to understand theirs. As leaders in the home, we have a responsibility to our kids that goes beyond providing them with shelter and food as leadership starts at home during their development! It’s is not learned through mastering a skill or becoming highly gifted. For our children to become effective leaders, we must start by teaching them how to lead now. That means encouraging your child's good qualities and teaching them about different leadership styles so they can learn what works best for them.
There are many ways parents can help their children develop into leaders, like encouraging curiosity, building confidence, teaching them to recognize their efforts when deserved, and correcting mistakes gently whenever possible.
From the moment you place your child in a crib, they are learning about leadership. They're figuring out how to make their voice heard amidst all of that noise, but what does it take to become an effective leader? The answer is simple: A lot of hard work and dedication. Which is why we've created this post to help you learn about the six critical pillars of leadership at home so that when your little one steps into their first position, starts their first company, or even their own family, they’ll be prepared for a sustainable and successful journey from day one!
Change your mindset about what it means to be a leader. Leadership is not defined by imitation. The challenge is staying objective, considering that successful leadership is often subjective to perspective based on an individuals home life and childhood. Try and remember that leadership is not defined by money, toys, or reliving childhood memories you feel that you missed. It’s preparing the next generation for their future, and it’s naturally going to look different than the limitations that we may have experienced.
Start with yourself; Be an example for your family and friends. We must remember that we’re in control of the leadership of our home, and nothing is more ineffective than a leader who doesn’t practice what they teach. It hinders credibility and disguises your intention as manipulation or self-seeking. Our friends and family members should respect boundaries and encourage positive behavior and maybe even bring accountability. They should not be distracting or misguiding you away from empowering your leadership.
Set goals and work towards them as a team. Our children have goals too! As leaders in the home, we must be cautious and learn not to fight for control and instead teach them how to align their emotions with their goals. It’s much more effective to teach them how to use their emotions in the pursuit of their goal rather than trying to control their behavior to satisfy our own goals. Parents are parents, and children are children, which comes with a certain dependency or hierarchy, but it doesn’t change the aspirations of either side. What might make sense to you as the parent is not going to be received the same by a child because it doesn’t always alter their perspective or knowingly affect their pursuit. Respect comes with consistent effort to lead effectively and admitting mistakes even if it means admitting you were wrong to your child, it lets them know that even as an adult the struggle still exists, so what they’re experiencing is “normal” and the ability to handle our emotions will continually need to be practiced.
Encourage communication and problem-solving. This is where that distinction comes into play, where you must communicate your perspective while seeking to understand theirs. Most often, children desire to grow up to have more responsibilities, but what they don’t see is the problems, big or small, that can often come with those responsibilities. It’s our job as leaders in the home to prepare them for that experience using their everyday life, and it may be challenging for some of us. Especially if we’ve been so focused on control and dominance as the “leader” that we’ve severely damaged the relationship and become the person the child wants to escape from and not engage in deep relationships with as they become the leader they desire to become. (I have designed a product that is tested and proven to fix this solution in the home! Keep reading 😉)!
Think of ways to help others without expecting anything in return. As every parent knows, the very first obligation we have, whether we like it or not, is to provide for them and shelter them. It doesn’t mean that they should come to expect it, because there are several families who don’t get that opportunity. I’ve learned that if you teach gratitude for everything, even for the things that we have come to expect inside of a home, or parent/child relationship, the child and even yourself, will begin to appreciate the situations of others and desire to contribute more to others to have their needs met as well.
Find something new to learn every day, whether it’s a new language or how to fix a car. You don’t have to pursue some huge ideology or hobby that’s expensive and distracts away from your duties to lead in your home. Start with something small yet enjoyable and just allow your mind to direct you and guide you where you can improve and learn new things. This can be with your child’s activities or introducing them to one of your own. It could even be learning a new way to be an effective leader in your home, business, and community.
Let’s make sure that every leader in the home is raising future leaders who will leave a legacy of progress in this world!
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Shawn Singleton, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Shawn Singleton, II is the author of "Brick by Brick: Reshape Your Thinking" and 2021 CREA Global Award recipient who primarily focuses on advising youth and young adults to effectively manage their influence in their personal and professional leadership roles. As a Husband, Community Leader, Engineer, and Certified Cognitive Behavioral, Life, and Business Coach, Shawn knows what it takes to become an effective leader in personal and professional leadership roles. Shawn created the "Yes, I A.M." leadership method from several personal and professional experiences, from being raised without a father in a single-parent household to head coach and community leader to organizational leadership and management. Shawn has experienced and overcame almost every obstacle young men face today regarding development and understanding of creating a foundation to become the leader they desire to become!
