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If You’re Serious, Stop Making Resolutions!

Written by: Wil Becker, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Once upon a time making resolutions was an annual routine for me. I would start thinking about them the 3rd week of December and gauge how I had done the previous year. Of course, like many resolutions, it was pass or fail and the changes I wanted to make felt like a mountain l would never be able to scale.

One April, when I was 14 years old, my mom pulled me aside to chat with me about how I was doing. She was greatly concerned, because as the oldest, I was getting the brunt of my parents fighting. She wanted to give me some guidance and help me change despite the example being set at home. She knew I would need encouragement to be willing to not follow in my parent’s mistakes.

Her talk provided me with some insight into people and, for a while, it stuck. Of course, I then went on to be a rebellious teen. Once I realized that I was only hurting myself with my decisions, I decided that I needed to get serious about changing me. It took a few days for me to work through the old thinking and start to weed out the bad ideas about myself and others. Within a week, I had made some sweeping changes in my life. I cut out a lot of media, music, and books that weren’t helping me in order to change my thoughts and attitude. I know that for my few friends these steps seemed extreme.

I knew that I had to put negative things out of my life in order to make room for positive and inspiring things. One of these changes was making New Year Resolutions. I completely stopped … in fact, that was the last resolution I would make. To change and be a better version of myself.

I didn’t know what these personal changes were called. I didn’t know how to say I was going to work on myself. What I knew is that my mom had said, “people are like rosebushes; they all have roses and thorns. Each person has good and great qualities, these are their roses. Each have personality issues and problems that are unique to them. Take the roses you see that your Dad and I have; and then look for other examples to glean from them those things you lack.”

“Mom, you want me to accept that you and Dad aren’t perfect?”

She said, “you already know that. You see that every day. Now, you will be able to find examples all around you; in classes, books, at work, and other groups you become part of. It won’t be easy to be honest with yourself … it will pay off one day.”

That New Year, I made that last resolution to follow Mom’s advice. I started focusing on what needed to change and slowly, I started to find books, mentors, and friends that would inspire me and be a good example.

At times the decision to work on personal improvement would put me at odds with others, including family members. It caused problems in friendships and groups I was part of … because I was pushing myself to improve. I am sure that you may have noticed that sometimes our closest friends and family can’t see what we’re working towards. It can create conflict and hard feelings; however, if we operate from a place of love for ourselves and others, we can still come through the challenges and strengthen our relationships.

Self-improvement can bring great joy and happiness. As I look back over the last 25 years and see where I’ve come from, I realize I’ve made small steps up that mountain that once looked like Everest! I am even more excited about the prospects and opportunities ahead!

Don’t ever let the size of the mountain discourage you; it’s the joy in the journey and the dedication to your dream that makes the assent believable and achievable!

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Wil Becker, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Wil is a serial entrepreneur with several businesses under his belt. He has served in several leadership roles over the last 25 years as a Youth Pastor and Congregational Leader. He has also served with the Boy & Cub Scouts organizations as a leader. He has moved up in his profession because of his leadership skills and his consistent self-education. Wil seeks out the best books and mentors to learn from. His desire to help others got him to start Turning Leaf Solutions and open the doors to his coaching business! He is excited to help you become your best self!!



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