Healing Trauma & Finding Your Way Back Home
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 23, 2021
- 6 min read
Written by: Bri Neely, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We all have a story to share, some more complex than others, but all holding meaning to their message. It originates in the womb and begins to write itself as the years' pass. We are not the only contributor to our story; an assemblage of external sources feeds the narrative. Too many beginning chapters hold no originality, but instead, they convey what others have determined for you.
As a baby, we require our parents to love and comfort us in moments of need, helping us develop and assimilate the ways of life. But what if we have spent decades of damaged souls tending to our children? Souls that have unhealed from battles and abuse, depressions, or other traumatic events, fabricated homes that held lies rather than love, offering no real direction on how the fuck to deal with this all.
What do we say when we've spent decades raising our children through authoritative regulations, holding their opinions to the highest standard, and neglecting our own natural given instincts. How would you feel if I said that we are children raising children; adults staying wrapped in a broken child's mentality. Would you agree or disagree? Our wounds are getting more profound and infectious, creating low spirits and conclusively contaminating our offspring. These wounds need healing. We need to stop suppressing the problem and wait for the next to show up; instead, we need to dig down and face these dissatisfied needs head-on, no longer accepting them to control our lives, but alternatively, find the story that holds their purpose rather than placement.
Twenty-nine years of my life have revealed to me that we've all been part of this game that has been missing pieces, giving us wrong directions and setting us up for a stealthy defeat. I've been a caretaker for stages between birth and death, understanding that the realities we partake in contribute to our well-being and the generations that proceed behind us.
I am done with the predisposed stories, the ones that leave us lost within ourselves—playing with our emotions and dictating our presence. Instead, I am tending to my child from within, helping her grow and discover the love she holds for herself. This work is no walk in the park; but instead, it is like a walk through a hurricane, a hurricane that has tornados thrashing through it, constantly pushing debris in your path, and trying to pull you out of the way. The thing is, if you want peace within your presence, or if you want to be more present with your people, you must face this storm head-on. The storm is heavy, but the discovery will be completely worth it.
Do you know who you are, honestly? Does the life you are leading fill you with meaning? Instead of placing expectations on our children to make us proud, are we making them proud? These are powerful questions to ask yourself; they help you discover where you are, and they lay down a map to where you crave to be; where do you desire to be?
I can't solve this question for you, but I would enjoy hearing your responses. For me, I wasn't sure what I wanted; all I knew was that I wanted more; more love for myself, more presence for my people, and more peace within my soul. Aches anchored my body, and my world began to feel out of place. Comfort started to seem uncomfortable. I prayed for change, and people began to populate my attendance. Life began unfolding in ways that scared the hell out of me. Complex emotions started to rise from their contained placements, and life began to feel more complicated yet undeniably accurate.
When you sit with yourself and listen, magical things begin to flow into your life. When you trust what's transpiring from within, living becomes more apparent, and you can uncover those layers that have been gripping so tightly to remain closed. When you begin to do this, pain no longer seems inevitable and, instead, it becomes more understandable.
My short amount of years on this earth have shown me plenty of suffering. My work in childcare, healthcare, and caretaking those who have had Alzheimer's, have pried my eyes wide open, and I am no longer able to look away from the evasive maltreatment far too many of us undergo. My personal life has also witnessed neglect turn into addictions, abuse turn into disease and self-loathing into suffering. I've seen voices too scared to speak up, watching broken spirits seek validation for their belonging, and suppressing what so greatly needs engagement. Our patterns need to end. Conditioning needs to seek freedom, and healing from our destructive stories are the candles that light the path and hold hope for a better tomorrow.
I wholeheartedly believe we are collectively going through a revolution of change, and I seek to be a guiding light through it, shining my soul onto those who aspire for more. I am here to help the broken love themselves again, nourishing their spirits and validating their truths, ultimately showing them how to become the adult they've always needed for themselves. I want to support adults in recognizing that children will have to wear our traumas for as long as we hold onto them, so let us heal and discover what no longer serves us.
I attend to adults, but I advocate for our children because the problem is, if we don't face our obstacles, we are just going to continue the series, and if you ask me, this cycle has far surpassed its expiration date. There is no benefit from continuing our broken patterns. Shielding the brokenness through an external source only feeds the problem. You need to find meaning in the message of your life, but first, we need to stop playing the victim and instead turn your story into a heroic tale of how you broke the curse, releasing your ancestors and planting new seeds for the lineage that continues.
Our children's world will become what we perceive it to be. Are we accepting fear on our frontlines? Does our mindset seek optimism, or are we always assuming the worst to come our way? Are emotions being shut down through medications and avoidance, or are we showing our children that feelings help guide us on the right path?
I'm not here to criticize where you are at, and instead, I'm here pouring my heart to you to stop and think, to look around, to question, and come to the realization that normal is anything but ordinary. It has become my mission to help others find their way home again, that place within that has been longing for your full attention. I've come to recognize that when you no longer fear the feels and instead allow them to flow naturally, a beautiful world begins to transpire, no longer dreading what has been but instead discovering what can become.
You hold the key to the life of your choosing. Will you walk in to repair the damage and create the home you desire? I dare you to dream, be inspired, and step in and discover what lies within, for guidance can be there with you every step of the way, find your support, and take a leap of faith, for you deserve that kind of healing, because when you heal your home, you heal the world.
Bri Neely, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Bri is a mom, nurse, and mentor who is ready to change the world! As a mom, she has understood that we hold the key to our future; how we raise our children depends on the outcome we receive in our society. As a previous nurse specializing in Alzheimer's care, she has seen the outcome of our conditioned patterns and will no longer contribute to the problem. Instead, she is ready to be part of the solution! Her experiences, both personal and professional, have led her to her purpose, becoming a mentor for those ready to reclaim their lives and restore their roots. Bri has traveled on her own healing journey, which has lead her into becoming her true authentic self; she has found purpose through her traumas and is ready to share her gifts with the world! She believes that to heal our future, we must start with ourselves. Bri is passionate about emotional health, physical health, conscious parenting, trauma healing, and mindset work and is fully convinced that these are the vital components for a thriving future.
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