Written by: Leslie Gaudet, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Happiness is a choice. In fact, Happiness is a state of mind. At least, that is what I
have come to believe and it’s how I choose to live my life.
Let me tell you why, by asking you a question.
If you decided in this instance to be happy but you thought that the key to your happiness
was you achieving financial abundance, or some kind of romantic relationship, or you
accumulating stuff like homes and cars, would that really be true happiness?
Because if the relationship goes sour, or you lose your money, or you lose the stuff that
you have, then what? Does that then mean that you’ll no longer be happy?
I started thinking about happiness one night during a discussion with my husband about
his happiness.
In our discussion, my husband said, “when I have this or when I do that, I’ll be happy” and
I said “Hon, being happy isn’t about what you achieve to be happy or what you accumulate
(meaning stuff) to be happy, it’s a state of being that you choose to be”.
And then I started thinking a little bit more on the subject, after we left the conversation,
and something remarkable revealed itself to me and that was that I think that maybe for
my husband, that in order for him to truly own being happy, that there has to be supporting
evidence for him; something to prove that he was on a road of true happiness, that could
back him up in his choice to be happy.
And so, as I thought about it more, I realized that the key to being happy is to stack on
evidence that supports your choice to be happy, and you find ways to increase that
evidence to enhance your happiness. That is when I came to the conclusion that the key
to that is through Gratitude Stacking which is finding all of the ways that you are truly
blessed.
You see, I truly believe that happiness is a choice that we get to make freely and that we
are given a gift which is we can choose to be happy, or we can choose to be unhappy.
That’s it. But that choice is ours.
I believe that when we choose to be happy that there are amazing reasons in our lives
(people, and experiences) that support that and that we can stack onto our happiness by
finding it and tapping into the evidence in our lives that support our choice to be happy.
That is what I mean by Gratitude Stacking.
I’ll give you an example. Take the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks where he’s alone on
an island and for the bulk of the movie, it’s just him. And he is miserable, and he doesn’t
want to be here anymore and for a time he just gives in and gives up. But then, somehow,
he finds a way to start being happy.
Now I don’t know if you could go so far as to say that that is what he was thinking or what the writers wanted us to think that he was thinking, but if I could take a closer look at that,
I think it would be safe to say that he made a choice that “in order for me to survive, I
have to choose me and in order to choose me, I have to choose to find some form of
gratitude and be happy” and through that, you can see how he creates a world for himself
where he is happy and that in turn opens up his life, opens up his mind, opens up his
heart, and eventually he figures out a way to find a way through, through all of the muck,
and the happiness then becomes true, and in that, he eventually finds a way off of the
island.
Now let me tell you about some gratitude stacking in my own life. I’ll use my marriage as
an example.
I’ve been married for almost 26 years. In fact, I will be celebrating my 26-year wedding
anniversary a few short days after this article is published.
To say we started off on a rocky footing is an understatement. For me, there has never
been a truer statement when I say that I wasn’t always sure that we would make it.
I had no idea all the ups and downs of what a marriage could be like, or even should be
like, because I never witnessed that in my home growing up. I had no father in the home
or even a positive male role model to look up to and seek advice.
I had no example of what a loving relationship between a man and a woman looked like
or could look like, and so I had to learn (the hard way) how to do that, how to be a wife,
how to truly listen to understand before responding knowing that I wasn’t always going to
get it right and knowing that I wasn’t always going to agree with this other human that I
chose to journey within life.
But somewhere along the way, I found my footing and I learned about how stacking my
gratitude gave me the courage, and the confidence, and the joy, grace and love to
become a woman who loves her husband, who loves life, and who is truly grateful for all
of the ups and downs because they were all stepping stones to finding my truest self.
When I talk to other women about how to navigate a relationship, I always talk about how
our words are as equally important as the tone we use.
I believe that when you speak from a place of gratitude, your tone is softer and kinder and
gentler and welcoming and non-judgmental, and you can stack on more gratitude for the
moments that you create in your life that is spent cultivating loving bonds with the people
in your life.
I believe that gratitude stacking helps you live in a state of appreciation, of joy, of love,
and kindness and you feel more open and optimistic about the possibilities in life.
So, in choosing gratitude, you learn that life in all its crazy ups and downs, can actually be an amazing journey, especially that as you go along you are collecting pieces that you are grateful for and stacking them as you go.
One of the things that I do on an annual basis is I look back over the past 12 months and
ask myself to look at and remember all of the milestones I achieved and tap into the
emotions of gratitude (for me), which are joy, love, and peace.
I allow myself to celebrate that I have anchored in some amazing celebration moments
that I have added to my gratitude stack and when I am down or not feeling quite like
myself, I know that all I have to do is to look at the treasure of beautiful memories that I
have collected and remind myself that there is so much to be grateful for.
I wake up every day with a grateful mindset for I am truly blessed to wake up every
morning, open my eyes, and to take my first breath into an unlived and uncharted day
that I get to design and that I get to create more grateful memories to add to my treasure
trove of anchored celebration memories.
Gratitude Stacking helps me navigate my world with more optimism, and I look for the
solutions to attaining my goals rather than the obstacles that possibly are standing in my
way and when I have something truly to be grateful for to add to the stack, well that brings
a huge smile to my heart, for I know that as I get older and as I reminisce about my life,
that I have so much to be grateful for and that I can be truly joyful for a life well lived for I
lived from a place of feeling truly blessed and grateful, never taking anything or any
moment for granted.
So, the next time you find yourself in a place of fear, worry, doubt, anger, irritation, or any
of the other emotions that don’t feel so good, or if some morning you wake up and you
think that life sucks, I want you to stop and reflect on all that you have done up to the
moment of this feeling you are in the midst of. And then I want you to find at least 3
experiences in your life that you are truly grateful for and that brought you such joy and
bring yourself into a grateful state of mind.
And if you have a hard time trying to come up with anything, just think of all the little things
in life, like having a roof over your head, food on your table, a bed to sleep in, and family
and friends who care about you,
If you are a parent, think back on the birth of your child. Maybe when you were younger,
you gave your first speech in school, and it put you on the path to something more than
you thought was possible for your life. Or maybe you had a conversation with a friend and
inspired them to not give up on themselves and you encouraged them to keep going
after their dreams.
Or maybe you spent hours with a friend who was in need of your ear, and you listened
without judgment or criticism, Yes, even by giving of yourself, of your time to someone
else, you can add to your gratitude stack.
There is so much beauty in our world and I think we forget about it because we are easily distracted by all of what’s going on in the news, and on social media, and we are so focused on achieving the next thing that we don’t take time to actually celebrate the now
and the achievements of now but instead we mark a task done, a goal achieved (check
mark), and we move on to the next. And so, when we face the next obstacle and allow
that to block us, we forget about all of the good things we’ve accomplished or the amazing
experiences we’ve experienced.
I think that’s why I love these 3 words – Live, Laugh, Love.
In fact, I have a timer on my phone to go off everyday at 5:55 p.m. and all it is meant to
do is to grab my attention and remind me to Live, Laugh, Love.
It’s a reminder for me to live my life to the fullest, to laugh often, and to love
unconditionally.
Don’t let another day go by without looking at all the beauty around you and without
adding to your gratitude stack for you should be thankful for all that you have, and all that
you are given.
From my heart to yours:
Add to your stack daily.
Enjoy every moment.
Give thanks for every connection.
Find the rainbow in each experience.
Begin today and start stacking your gratitude and along the way, you will create your
treasure of memories for you to look back on with joy, and with love.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Leslie!
Leslie Gaudet, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Leslie Gaudet is a Mindset and Emotional Awareness Coach for women. She helps her clients achieve self-awareness around their emotional triggers by shifting their mindset to make better decisions when they respond, allowing them to bring more balance, peace, and harmony into their lives.
Almost 4 decades working as a Legal Assistant and Paralegal in the corporate world left her feeling emotionally and physically drained. That’s when she decided that she had to make some changes for her to live the life she loves. Those changes involved learning to love herself (without judgment or criticism). That mindset is the key to everything because our mindset influences our thoughts, and in turn, our thoughts dictate our words and actions. Thru her journey to self-love and self-acceptance, Leslie became certified as a Life Coach and attained further certifications in Group Coaching and Emotional Intelligence.
She works closely with her clients, starting with mindset because that is the foundational piece to self-love and self-acceptance. She teaches her clients about triggers and how they affect us emotionally by helping her clients tune into, spot, and understand their own so that they can become more self-aware of their trigger moments and emotional responses.
With proven tools and techniques and with her guidance, her clients tap into and discover their true potential to living their life and loving the life they are living.
Leslie believes that you will transform your life when you Change Your Brain (the way you think).
