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Death Isn’t The Only Thing Humans Grieve

Written by: Michele DeVille, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

 

The pandemic has been incredibly challenging for all of us and after two years, nothing feels quite the same.


People are trying to return to some sense of normalcy in the aftermath of a pandemic that turned life upside down, but there are constant reminders of how much things have changed.


There has been so much loss yet so many of the losses go unacknowledged and people fail to recognize that the wave of emotions constantly bubbling up, is in part due to grief.

Society automatically identifies death with grief but it’s important to remember that there are so many other losses that happen in life. Losses other than dying that can lead to the pain of grief.


It’s impossible to heal if we can’t recognize and acknowledge grief, regardless of the loss.


People are hurting and grief is everywhere. It’s showing up in our homes, our communities, and the workplace. And it’s time to change the conversation and how we talk about grief.


Unfortunately, western culture is often uncomfortable with grief and far too often, the pain of grief goes unseen and unheard.


The cumulative and collective grief we are experiencing in the world is busting out and through the seams of the life we are all trying to rebuild after months of change, loss, and tragedy.


If we can’t come together and give ourselves and each other permission to grieve, how can we begin to heal in solidarity and as individuals?


Nothing about grief is easy and it’s one of the hardest things human beings will face. Grief is part of the human experience and whether we like it or not, grief creates a universal bond between all of us.


We are all in this together and together we can do a better job at supporting each other without judgement or unrealistic expectations.


It’s important to remember that death isn’t the only thing people grieve. In fact, According to the Grief Recovery Institute, there are over 40 other life events that can lead to unresolved grief.


It’s critical that we continue to find ways to be extra kind and compassionate to our families, co-workers, neighbors, and friends. It’s impossible to know what someone is going through from one day to the next.


And it’s important to be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace and remember, if you are feeling off or struggling with emotions you don’t understand, it could be grief.


It’s impossible to acknowledge something if we are unaware of it. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Self-awareness is key.

  • Allow yourself to feel all your feelings and acknowledge that it could be grief.

  • You don’t have to apologize for or justify your grief to anyone.

  • Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss.

  • There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Grieve in whatever way feels right for you.

  • Lean on those who get it and will support you without judgement or unrealistic expectations.

  • Be patient with yourself. Grief is hard.

  • Grief isn’t something to be fixed but you can learn to grow around your grief and carry it forward.

  • Your grief matters. Regardless of the loss.

It’s been a tough couple of years and while things are settling down, it’s not completely over. Things may never go back to how they were before COVID rearranged everything.


Call it what you want, but so much of what happened led to so much loss and whether society wants to name it as grief or not, it’s here and impossible to avoid.


Take care of yourself and if you are struggling or if you would like more information or resources, visit www.micheledeville.com or follow me on Instagram @micheledeville.


Your grief matters. Always.


Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info!


 

Michele DeVille, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Michele DeVille has a deep passion for supporting those who are grieving as well as educating loved ones, communities and the workplace on how to better support grievers. Her own life experiences and grief journey led to this important work. She is dedicated to changing how we think about grief through workshops, coaching, writing, and creating helpful resources in the grief space. All grief matters and deserves to be validated, seen, and heard.

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