An Interview with The Relationship Guy and Coach — John Kenny
John Kenny is The Relationship Guy - relationship coach, author of The P.E.O.P.L.E. Programme, documentary maker and speaker.
After living a life full of unsuccessful and toxic relationships, John has created Interpersonal Relationship Coaching (IRC) to help successful singles who struggle with intimate relationships of their own.
He has been in the field of personal development since 2004 and has helped thousands of clients to live the relationships and life that they choose, rather than the one they always have or feel they have to or should!
John will not only help you to understand why you think, feel and do as you do, but also the intricacies of deeper human behavior.
Who is John Kenny?
I have always worked in the service sector, from retail management, personal trainer to being a firefighter in the London Fire Brigade, but helping people improve their lives through coaching is my purpose and passion.
I now reside just north of London in the UK, and although I have traveled around, have ended up not far from where I grew up in east London (but who knows where I will end up, somewhere warm is my plan). I work locally with clients face to face and online with people all around the UK and internationally from Canada to Australia.
I have always liked to keep myself fit, one of the reasons I became a personal trainer, as I have exercised regularly from the age of 16. That was when I discovered I was a pretty fast sprinter and ended up competing for Great Britain on numerous occasions over 200 meters.
I was one of those kids that had no idea what they wanted to do with their lives as they grew up and when my dream of becoming a full-time athlete didn't happen, I became an adult with absolutely no idea of what I wanted to do with my life.
By chance, when studying for something else, I discovered the world of psychology, trained to be a counselor, and then trained as a coach in 2012. I also trained as a hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner and in 2016 put all of my knowledge and experience together and founded IRC.
I focused for a few years on helping people to manage unhealthy/toxic relationship spaces and to heal from the pain and difficulties we carry from them. This was my own personal experience too and my healing helped me work with others to do so.
How do you help now?
The 75 years Grant Study from Yale University concluded that there is a direct correlation between the quality of your relationships and the overall quality of your life. I help people to find that quality.
My background in counseling and psychology enables me to understand the intricacies of human behavior and why you think, feel and do what you do. We learn how 'to do' relationships throughout our lives and are impacted by early childhood experiences and subsequent relationships. You will develop relational patterns, relationship beliefs, and certain attachment styles.
My coaching then helps my clients to work out how they relate to themselves and the world around them so that they can then choose the life that they want, rather than the one that has been absorbed into their subconscious, drives their behaviors and subsequently their outcomes in life. Learning all about the intricacies of human behavior.
We keep hold of the things that work and change the outdated things that no longer serve as a positive purpose. Your brain holds onto things as they feel familiar and has put mechanisms in place to keep you 'safe', but actually keeps you stuck, unable to be your true self and live your best life, attracting difficult and unfulfilling relationships in the process.
Who should hire you?
I work with people who have reached a certain level of success in their lives, but not in their relationships.
This could be because you have focused all of your time on other areas of life, such as a business/career and now want to find a relationship that complements your life.
Maybe you have experienced difficult, toxic, or unfulfilling relationships in the past and want to know why you keep attracting these types of people.
Perhaps you have avoided deeper connection with people as it isn't something you feel comfortable with, but now want to find a relationship you can feel committed to.
There are many reasons why relationships haven't worked out in the past and we explore those reasons and work out what you now want.
The top five indicators of a healthy relationship are:
The belief that our partner is committed to the relationship.
That each partner feels appreciated by the other.
Your partner is happy because they are in a relationship with you.
Conflict is not frequent and doesn't escalate beyond a certain level when it occurs.
Sexual satisfaction - not just about how much, but the quality of connection.
We can have these in our lives.
What is your big goal? Where do you see yourself in 10 years from now?
Apart from my comment earlier (to be living somewhere warm), my aim is to help as many people as possible to experience an intimate relationship that they find fulfilling, happy, and connected with, whilst being a bit in love with themselves too.
Having a healthy relationship with yourself will lead to you living healthy relationships with everyone else, and if not, making sure that you are affected in the least negative way possible by other people. My belief is that everyone deserves this and is possible to achieve.
I want to spread the word of Interpersonal Relationship Coaching (IRC) to as many people as possible so that they can use it in their life and help others too. I am in the process of writing training in IRC so that I can train other coaches to use it and gain exceptional results for their clients.
