Written by: Andrea Raggambi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Last month, I wrote Part 1 on this topic where I identified the importance of personal values in communication. In Part 2, I want to explain how you can identify your personal values so you can increase your self-awareness, reduce stress, and improve your relationships:
1. Every day for ten days, log instances in a notebook or in your phone when you encounter conflict or feel frustration, either with yourself or with another person. Jot down the date, time, and a few words and feelings about the situation and what you think triggered the conflict/frustration so you can recall it later.
2. At the end of the ten days, Google “personal values.”
3. Find a list of at least 30. Rank order your top 10 and then narrow it to your top 3.
4. Refer to your conflict/frustration log. Review your top 3 values and where relevant, note any instances where one of your values was in conflict based on your notes.
5. Use this information to think about how you might be able to reframe your thought process around a similar situation should it occur again. Make a note of those ideas like, “When I get triggered around X, remember it is because of my high value around X. How can I use this information to change how I respond?”
6. Practice changing your thoughts around frustrating situations or disagreements based on this exercise and consider how this impacts your mood, productivity and interactions with others.
Observing and tracking your interactions and behaviors is the best way to determine how you are showing up and if you need to make any changes. A guided journal like the one I have created is a great way to uncover a lot of interesting thoughts, habits, and behaviors that can support your growth and create alignment around your values so you can make changes that bring you positive results.
Consciously recognizing and sharing which of our values are challenged in conflicts can help us think and act more proactively and engage more constructively with others. We are all humans being and will naturally run into frustration and conflict which is not a bad thing. But we can use these opportunities to understand what lies at the root of our reactions in these moments to improve our communication, paving the way for more constructive conversations which will also improve our relationships.
Andrea Raggambi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Andrea is an ICF ACC coach and Chief Success Designer for mid to upper-level leaders who want to hit the pause button on busy-ness to take an exciting and courageous journey to design their personal and professional legacy and move forward with clarity, confidence, and renewed energetic purpose. Her purpose is to empower curiosity and creativity so that we choose to accept our differences, embrace change, and make choices that represent our best selves. Andrea applies a unique mashup of coaching and “success management” techniques utilizing a mix of change management, mindset, and habit-building practices to shift energy, thoughts, and behaviors in the direction of her client’s vision and goals. Since launching PerforMore in 2009, she has designed creative experiences, tools, and products that have resulted in success for hundreds of high-performing leaders in the technology, medical, architecture, construction, and engineering industries.
